I actually find this funny

The other day I saw a Mario Cartoon (made back in the 80’s) and it got me thinking about how Mario and Luigi are always attacking Bowser.  And then I thought, “Hey, I wonder what Bowser’s side of the story is about a couple of Italian “Plumbers” from Brooklyn who wondered into his universe and stole his girlfriend.”  Which made me laugh and go, hey, an Italian from Brooklyn with an obvious cover-up job?  It just screams Mafia ties. Thus I give you the Adventures of Mafia Mario and Luigi.

   Ah, Peach my dear, how is your dinner?

 

 

 

Oh, It’s perfect Bowser, it’s just…

 

 

Yes?

 

 

It’s just that I fear for your safety.  If Mario,

 

Mario!  Mario!  All we seem to talk about anymore is that blasted Plumber!  Please my love, let us discuss something else

 

No!  We MUST talk about this, we cannot continue to meet like this!  If Mario found out… I don’t know what he’d do, but I know it would be horrible for you.

 

 

Oh, Peach my love, I’d risk it all just to enjoy one more minute with you, and I know you love me too.

 

 

I do, Bowser, I do!

 

Then why don’t you tell Mario you’re leaving him for good?  Why must we keep our love a secret?  Why do you stay with him?

 

I… I don’t know.  It’s just… you don’t know how he used to be.  He used to be a good man, Bowser.  He used to be a doctor until that fateful day.

 

<FLASHBACK TIME!>

 

  Hello!  Welcome to my clinic, how may I help you?

 

 

I have a message from Mr. Danza, he says, “Hello”

 

 

Wha-? No!  Wait Please!

 

 

 

RATA-TAT-TAT-TAT!

 

NOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!

<END FLASHBACK!>

*SNIFF*  Miraculously he survived, but he was a changed man and followed in the “family business” of plumbing from then on

 

Oh, Peach, I had no idea.   Nice as he may have once been, however, that doesn’t change what he is now.  You must -

 

You must stop disgracing me by affiliating with this lowlife! Peach!

 

 

 *GASP!* Mario!

 

Peach, why do you persist in dishonoring me in this manner after all I’ve done for you and your father?  Is this truly how you have chosen to repay the kindness of me and my brother?

No, brother, this is certainly not how one chooses to repay the kindness of the Mario Brothers.  Surely she must have an explanation.

 

She doesn’t need to explain anything to you!  Now leave at once, least you incur the wrath of the Koopa Clan!  For too long my seven brothers and I have tolerated your presence in our lands!

 

Heh…. ha ha…. HA HA HA HA.  Did youse hear that Mario?  He warns us of his seven brothers!

Indeed, Luigi.  This is quite the joke.

 

 

 

What do you mean by this laughter!?

 

Let us just say that we had difficulty in finding your house and imposed ourselves on the good hospitality of your siblings.  But you need not worry, we repaid their generosity with gifts of our own.

HA!  Gifts of our own.  Youse a riot Mario.  We gaves them gifts alright.  Gifts of hot lead!  I don’t think they liked it very much though.

 

No! Mario, say it isn’t true!

 

 

Go wait in the car Peach while I “rescue” you from this Lizard.

 

Wait Mario!  Please… I… I’ll never see him again, please just spare his life!

 

 

Peach no!

 

Very well Peach. What you ask of me is reasonable and I will aquiest to this final request of yours.  Come Luigi we depart

 

Youse got it Mario.  Consider yourself lucky this time lizard.  Weze outta here.

 

CURSE YOU MARIO!  ONE DAY I WILL SAVE PEACH FROM YOUR IMPRISONMENT.  I SWEAR THIS TO YOU!

 

<The End>

I actually find this funny

Am I My Brother’s (Fish tank’s) Keeper? (yes)

   So earlier last week I began to beg my mom for a cat.  Long story short, she said no… a lot.  But it’s really boring at home when all you do all day long is study.  That’s when I remember that we had an aging fish tank up in the office at my house.  I thought to myself, “Hey, that tank has everything you need for a fish tank but the fish and water.  I should totally bust it out.”

I was surprised to find it wasn’t as… complete as I would have thought.  The air pump was long gone, as was one of the under gravel filter tubes (the under gravel filter keeps fish waste from accumulating in the rocks… or so I’m told), the heater, the fish net, the water treatment stuff, the thermometer, and all the tubing for the air pump.  $20 dollars later (thanks to dad paying for the heater, thanks dad!), I again had everything needed for a fish tank except the fish.

A quick trip to Pet Smart fixed that problem.  Here’s what I got

3 Neon Tetras

2 Black Mollies

3 Guppies (1 Fancy tail, 1 Turquoise, and 1… yellow one)

2 Algae eaters of some kind of variety (I was going to get one, but the store lady informed me the one I wanted to get could grow up to 2 feet in length.  So I had to get a smaller one, but since I was worried that little guy wouldn’t be able to handle 8 other fish, I got two)

For a total of 10 fish in my (brother’s) 1o gallon fish tank.  If they play nice, that’s a gallon for each of them.

My dad has just informed that the algae eaters don’t eat the stuff off the bottom (half the reason I bought them), I might be going back for an 11th fish to make sure the bottom stays clean… I wonder if Pet Smart will let me exchange a fish.

Here’s a picture

 

(Daniel I guess I owe you a fish tank if you want this one before they all die)

Am I My Brother’s (Fish tank’s) Keeper? (yes)

The Big Move

The Big Move

Last Saturday I moved into my own apartment. Well, I have a female roommate but we aren’t really there much at the same time. I want to give a big thanks to all those who were able to help me move. I know it was a long way to drive and I really appreciate your time and effort. Here are a few pictures from the day:

The Big Move

Shogi Board Part 2

First of all, I made a slight edit to the materials needed. I realized that I needed 3 - 1/2" x 2" x 3' Pine boards, not 2. The reason being that since the boards are ultimately going to fold in half, I need the 1/2” board on all four sides and not three, as this photo depicts.

The missing side is right where the hinges need to go. If I don’t add the fourth side then the hinges would attach to the top of the board itself and wouldn’t close properly.

The next part of the project was to make the print outs that I’m going to iron to the pieces. I decided that I want people to easily pick up and play this game. For that reason I chose to not use the traditional Japanese characters for the individual pieces. Instead, I have a single letter (or a picture of a crown for the king) to indicate what the piece is and what moves are legal for the piece to make directly under it.

The lines with no arrows indicate that it can only move one space in that direction, while the lines with arrows mean it can move any number of spaces in that direction. I did manage to find a website that gave the proper angles to make a shogi piece (but I can’t find it again) such that I could make the above pieces. Once the shape was made, I optimized the size for something I thought would fit nicely in a 1.5”x1.5” square. You know, something large enough to grab on to, but not so large that it’s impossible to grip it without messing up the pieces in adjacent squares. From that base size, it was just some simple math to find the right size ratio for the smaller pieces (as in chess, the different pieces are different sizes).

Additionally, I think I’m going to label the board itself with the starting location of the pieces (haven’t decided yet).

Again, the idea isn’t so much for authenticity, as much as it is for ease of a first time player. Ideally, I’ll be playing this game with people who have never seen or perhaps even heard of shogi before. The game will be much more fun if you can set it up easily and not have to worry about remembering how each piece can move and which word in a non-Latin alphabet foreign language means what.

Here are the two excel files I made. The file for the shogi pieces includes a second sheet for their promoted side. We’ll how well I do in affixing the promoted side after I affix the non-promoted side. The Shogi Board file has some garbage at the bottom of the page. I’m using that garbage to iron it own to some scrap wood to get the technique down before using it on the real deal. It’s there for you to do the same. If you do use these, remember that you need to print them as mirror images to affix it to the wood.

Here’s the file I used for the shogi pieces

Here’s the file I used for the shogi board

These are both saved in a Excel 2007 format. You might need this patch from Microsoft to open 2007 documents in older versions of Office (assuming you don’t already have it, of course)

The next step is ironing the pieces on. We’ll see when I can do it.

Shogi Board Part 2

Shogi is Japanese Chess

First of all, my Network+ certification training at Techskills is going extremely well. We’re hoping that I’ll be able to take the exam on Monday, but we’re not sure if they’ll let me schedule it that soon.

Now, on with the post!

For a VERY long time, I have desired a shogi board. Shogi, as the title says, is Japanese chess. It’s played on a 9x9 board with 20 pieces per side with similar(ish) rules. But, any time I’ve found a shogi board, it’s cost has been at least 30 dollars and usually was going to cost me another 10 dollars in shipping as well.

So, I decided, quite suddenly, that I should just build my own. I tried to look online to find some form of instructions for building your own shogi board. Much to my surprise, there’s none. Even finding information on what size to make your pieces is non-existent. So here are my instructions that I will be updating as I go (I’ll just add a new post, instead of adding on to this post specifically).

It should be noted that my skill in wood workings is novice (beginner if you’re feeling generous with me). I know how to cut and measure, but I’ve never tried anything like this.

First of all, here’s my list of needed materials.

1 - 1"x8"x4' Pine board

3 - 1/2" x 2" x 3' Pine boards

2 - 3/8" x 2" x 2' Pine boards

1 - Pack of small hinges

1 – 3 pack (at least) of transferable wax paper (the kind you use to make custom t-shirts)

1 - latch

1 - foam pad

1 – fine grit sand paper

Black paint

varnish (color of your choosing)

Here’s the 4-foot pine board. I chose pine because I like the color of it. It’s a nice light color that stains to many colors well (in my opinion).

I wanted to make a 1’x 1’ shogi board, but I realized that 1’ wide planks are very expensive. So, I chose to change the size of my board to 16”x16”. To accomplish this, I selected a 1”x8”x4’ plank and made my cuts at 16”, leaving me with three 1”x8”x16” lengths.

Of course, no plank is ever really the width it claims to the actual dimensions were closer to .75”x7”x16” planks. Even though I knew this from the start, I left it a little extra wide for the next step.

If you look closely, you’ll see that my cuts weren’t exactly 16” their width is slightly different. Since I plan on putting hinges on this so they fold on top of each other when not in use, I want them to be perfectly (or at least very close to it) flushed. The extra width let me shave off the length until I got them to the correct size.

The next step is setting up the 9x9 boxes. I' decided that 1.5”x1.5” squares would be a nice size (making the playing area 13.5”x13.5”)

The best way I found to measure this distance was to come in 1.25 inches from the sides (while your board is 16” of course) and 6.75 inches DOWN from where the two side will join together. The reason for coming from the “middle” of the board is simple. Since the board is 9x9 squares, that means each side will be 9x4.5. Or to put it another way, the middle row will be divided on either side. To make sure the boxes stay the same size and to avoid having a middle row that is either a lot wider or thinner than the rest of the boxes, it’s imperative to measure from the middle to the bottom on each board. I messed up a lot on getting the measurements right and had to do a lot of erasing and remeasuring to get it right. Don’t worry about leaving behind pencil marks, we’ll get them out when we sand.

If you look closely you can see all the lines I tried to erase on the top board (the one I did first). To make sure the lines met up right on both sides, I marked where each line would go on the border and then placed each board flush against the other. I lined up both hash marks with a straight edge and made one continuous line from top to bottom. The 4 dots you see (located on the third intersection as you move in from each corner diagonally) indicate the promotion zones in shogi.

Now that the lines are made, it’s time to make some grooves! Rather than just paint the lines I just made with pencil, I thought it would look really nice if I took my brother’s dremel (thanks for letting me borrow it Andrew!) and use the dremel attachment #192 to make some nice clean rows. In the photo above I had already made the top to bottom grooves (the one that spans both pieces of the board) by placing the two sides together and making one continuous cut.

However, I made two grave miscalculations. The first was that I didn’t make sure that the attachment was completely tight and the depth changed on me in the middle of the cut. I was able to fix it, but it shows at one spot. The second is in the middle of cutting, I discovered that the surface I was using was not level. The table in the picture can come together but the side on the left is higher than the right. It made for some… shallow grooves in the middle.

To make sure the cuts went straight I used a long piece of wood as a guide to push the dremel against (a tip I got from my brother).

Here’s the end result after making the grooves. If you look at the first row down from the top on the left side you’ll notice it looks different than the rest of the cuts. I took a break in the middle of making the grooves. I set the dremel tool down without taking out the attachment or changing any setting. But, when I came back, I was horrified to discover it cutting MUCH deeper into the wood. I ran it over a scrap piece of wood, and after a second it was back at the right depth. I have no idea why it did this. I could go back and use the third 16” segment, but I think it’s good for some of your mistakes to stick around. It keeps you humble and reminds you not to make them again the next time around.

Here’s the same piece after I sanded it. It looks a lot nicer and prepared it for affixing the wax paper to it as well as the varnish. (If you want to see what I’m talking about with the wax paper, check this out.

Here’s both sides sanded and put together for your viewing pleasure, they aren’t lined up right so the lines looked eschewed.

Here’s a little peek into what I’m planning for this project.

Once I varnish the wood, I’m going to attach the 1/2” wood to the bottom of the board to make a storage area for the shogi pieces. I’ve bought some foam that will be glued into the shown area with. The foam will have cut out spots for the shogi pieces to fit into. Well… at least that’s the idea. We’ll see how it goes.

Shogi is Japanese Chess