Obviously, this isn’t the post I promised on my belief “series”. I get bored writing about one thing for too long, and I think it stands to reason that people would get bored reading about the same thing for too long. So instead, I decided to alternate with a series on relationships that I’ve want to write for some time now. And I’m even starting that in the middle! (If this change of subject bothers you, you can just pretend that the title of this post is “Belief – Family Devotions”)
For as long as I can remember, my father made a point of doing family devotions every single night of the week. When we were young, we had a 3-ring binder full of pictured Bible stories. As we grew older we transitioned to the Bible itself. Each night we would read a chapter from a book of the Bible until we had read the entire Bible, then we started it all over again (though my mom would still take my sister and I into private Bible time when the older kids and dad came to Song of Solomon)
I can even remember the amazement of our friends coming over to our house for a sleep over and finding themselves in the middle of such a unique situation. But even apart from family devotions I can remember finding my dad early in the morning diligently studying the Bible and in the midst of prayer.
These two events, family and private devotions, were engraved on my mind and helped me to come to a proper understanding of devotions as I read the Bible.
At this point, let me state what I believe to be the Biblical point of family devotions and then proceed to provide proof of this point from the scriptures:
For a Christian family to not have a time of family devotions is in direct opposition of God’s desire and therefore sin. It is shame to a husband, sorrow to a wife, and sowing the seeds of disobedience in the children.
I wish I could word that a little more strongly. I truly desire to emphasize that any husband who is not leading his family in devotions is walking the path of rebellion against God regardless of his intentions! This is true for ANY husband no matter what stage in life he becomes a husband in or whether or not he has any children in the house.
I want to start with some practical proof because this is the least important kind of proof. Experiences are nice and help provide a point of reference for a listener (or reader), but in the end, experiences are meaningless unless they are validated by the Bible. As Romans 3:4 says “ Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar. As it is written: ‘So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge.’” (Translation: God’s Word trumps man’s experiences) Still I start with the lesser proof to lead into the greater proof.
Amy and I decided early on in our dating relationship that we desired to do devotions with one another. In the process of doing so we came to learn two things about our relationship:
- Whenever we were diligently in the scriptures we flourished. We spoke kinder to one another, we more fully adopted God’s standards for relationship roles, and we dealt with others more appropriately.
- Whenever we were not in the scriptures we were more likely to be short with one another, to be self-centered, etc.
From observing this we realized a simple and fundamental truth about our lives and time spent in the scriptures: When a true believer spends time in the scriptures they cannot help but to act in a manner pleasing to God.
Now, with the lesser proof out of the way, let’s look at some scriptural backing. To start with, I want to display the proof for individual study and then apply that outward to family worship. (Taken from the NASB version of the Bible)
Psalm 1:
1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season, And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.
There’s a lot that can be learned from these three verses but I want to focus just on some quick key points:
The first is that God lists two kinds of people, those who delight is in the law of the Lord and those who walk in the counsel of wicked. The importance of this distinction cannot be understated. A true believer in Christ will at some time come to the point where they realize that they must be walking in the law of the Lord (The Bible).
The second thing of importance is that God lists a tangible benefit from spending time in His Word: stability and spiritual prosperity. You can most likely think of someone who is a complete slave to their own emotions. A person who everyone is always walking on eggshells with for fear of somehow rubbing them the wrong way and sending them into a complete breakdown. This is the person who is not spending time in God’s Word, verse 4 describes them as chaff (very light plant parts basically) in the wind; they are driven in whatever direction the wind happens to be blowing at that time. Conversely, the person who is in God’s word is firmly rooted, the wind can blow all day long and while that may rustle it’s branches, the tree itself is undisturbed. Additionally, we also gain the benefit of spiritual prosperity, that is we grow in Christ and share the fruits of our spiritual lives with others.
So we can see, that we have a direct command from God for spending time in the Word (Verse 2 the Christian’s delight is in the Law of the Lord). We can also see some benefits of personal devotions. Let’s take that a step farther and look at some proof for teaching children with Bible devotions.
Duet. 1:4: "Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when the LORD said to me, 'Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.'”
Duet 6:6-7: “6 And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; 7 and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
Psalm 78:5-7 "5 He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, 6 so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. 7 Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.
We’ll stop there because Psalm 78:5-7 REALLY drives home my point here. We have been command by God to teach out children so that they would trust in God and would keep His commands. I honestly cannot say it any more eloquently. God commands personal time in the word and He commands teaching our children as well.
So let me bring this home by demonstrating the proof for a complete time of family devotion.
Ephesians 5:25-28 says “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
In these verses God gives husbands a heavy command (for reference this comes just after God commands wives to submit to their husbands, so if you’re a wife and you find yourself constantly berating your husband like you’re Kate from Jon and Kate + 8 (take that pop culture references!) you need to recognize that behavior as sin and expel it from your life). The command is to love our wives as Christ loves the Church and then the example given is of Christ’s care for our spiritual condition.
Husbands, you cannot be loving your wife in a Biblical role if you are not leading her into time spent in the scriptures. Or, to say it more bluntly: Husbands, if you are not leading your wife into time spent in the scripture you are living in rebellious sin by not showing your wife the love God has command you to demonstrate to her.
So let me exhort you husbands. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newly wed couple, a middle aged daddy, or just an old coot with all the kids out of the house. The importance of family devotions cannot be understated. And more than that, if we go back to Psalm 1:2 we see that it’s not just time spent doing a packet with some scripture references, it’s not reading from a paraphrase of scripture like “Our Daily Bread” or “The Message”. It is time spent reading directly from God’s word, NOT what someone believes God’s word to mean (like a sermon).
Now, obviously, there’s nothing wrong with the above listed items as study tools or additions to Bible reading, but understand that the command itself calls for study straight from God’s Word.
Setting up a nightly time of devotions can be one of the hardest things you ever do. There are a TON of reasons why you just don’t do it. You’re exhausted from work, you need to be studying, or cooking, or cleaning, the baby needs a bath, you need to exercise, you’ve never done anything like this and don’t know how to do it, it would be too embarrassing to start after not doing it for so long, you don’t think your spouse would be very interested, etc. But understand that you will make time for the things you want to do, so what you have to ask yourself is: How important to I really consider God in my life? If He’s important enough, then you’ll find time, and if He’s not… well He’s not.
I hope you decide God is important and so I’m going to provide a list of helpful hints on how to start your own family devotion time. If you have young children, I further encourage you to make sure that you and your spouse spend time immediately following your child’s Bible time to read from the scriptures together as adults.
- Commit to doing it every night for 2 weeks. This gives you a goal to shoot for, once you’ve done it every night for 2 weeks, shoot for another 2, or for 4! Saying you’re gonna do it every night forever is an unattainable goal with no sense of victory. Start small and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when you succeed!
- Set up a time you’re going to do it at and then drop everything and do it when the time comes! It can be easy for devotions to be shuffled right off the schedule for the evening. If they’re going to happen you must show yourselves and your children that God comes first by dropping whatever it is you’re working on and devoting time to God.
- Start out easy. You’re gonna wear yourself out if you jump into Revelation or Leviticus right off the bat. Choose a book that’s easy to follow. A good example would be one of the Gospels from the New Testament or Genesis from the Old Testament.
- Swap it up! Make sure not to spend all your time in the New or Old Testament. Hebrews 13:8 says “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” God didn’t magically change character between the Old and New Testament, you need to read both to come to a proper understanding of who He is and His plan for redeeming His wayward creation.
- Quiz one another (or your children if you have any) about what happened previously in the book. Reading the Bible is only half the equation, Psalm 1:2 speaks of meditating on the Scriptures. To meditate on the Scripture you need to be actively engaging your mind in the big picture of both what is happening in that specific book as well as what is going on in terms of the scriptures as a whole.
- Pray together. It doesn’t matter if you start things off with prayer or finish with prayer just make sure that you take the time to praise God and lift up your requests to Him with your family. It not only alerts you to what’s going on in one another lives, but it draws you closer together in God and reminds you that these aren’t just fairy tales, this is the Word of God and we are privileged to come before Him in prayer.
I give this final challenge: I challenge any married couple to participate in nightly devotions for at least 2 weeks (at least a month would be even better) and tell me their relationship with one another has not improved. Moreover, I further challenge that you will not even be able to come to me and tell me that your own personal attitude has not been changed.
I hope you accept my challenge.
Well, I’ll wrap it up there. I really pray that anyone who reads this will be convicted to devote themselves to family devotions (Family “Bible Time” as my parents called it). I will never forget one person I know (who will go nameless), a grown adult, who after seeing my father lead us in the scriptures wept privately afterwards because their father had not made the same point to give God the glory and honor in his own family. Fathers, do not miss out on doing what God has called you to do, and thank you dad for teaching me that God comes first and thank you mom for supporting him in this decision and letting us kids see the two of you unified in Christ.
Relationship Series – The Vital Importance of Family Devotions
