Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Daniel inspired video day

Daniel's videos led me to the following gems

I hope you've seen the Monty Python's skit about Spam on that one



You too can save a starving Christian.



Mr. Seeker-sensitive Mega church guy



This guy may have broken my anti-seminary stance

Edit 2011: So I had a video here where a pastor had a slip of the tongue. Turns out I didn't hear him right and he was actually saying something quite naughty. Needless to say when my wife and I were playing through these and she caught it, we decided to take it down. Does this count as a slip of the ear?

This one isn't funny at all, but it is a good look into how people are viewing Christianity from our own emotion centered church services.


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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Hitch Hiking Addendum

As a point of mild interest, I should not that the week following my nighttime hitch hiking adventure, two people were murdered on the street next to my college and several others have begun to be stalked as they drive down the road. I admittedly find the latter stories suspect as I go to a school in the middle of absolutely nowhere so the fact that if someone actually ends up behind you on that long, one lane road, odds are they're gonna be going the same place you are.

These recent events are especially of interest to myself as a few semester ago I was verbally abused by some of my fellow DBU students for voicing the opinion that female students should get to park up top and the male students should park down below and hike back to the dorms. One person in particular almost cussed me out and called me an idiot for thinking the school might be unsafe. Well guess what? It's not! HA! DBU is located on all sides by low-income and high-crime areas (not saying those two always go hand and hand, just that they do in this particular instance). A wimpy, easily bypassed fence is not gonna keep them out if and when they decide that a particular girl looks especially inviting. Though feminist may take offense at my stance that the women on campus should get that added protection of parking up top, the fact of the matter is that in this fallen world, women are more likely to be singled out for assault then men.

Not that it matters since DBU will do what they want to when they want to without consideration of us :p (how you liking that nature trail to that new chapel commuter students?) Oh, one last tid bit, I currently live in the only dorm who's front door doesn't lock and hasn't for over a year now. Is fixing a lock really that much out of budget? Maybe if you stopped siphoning all our money to the town homes you'd actually be able to afford some basic repairs to us lowly dorm students.
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Monday, March 24, 2008

Shaved head, hot lips, and hitch hiking fiascos

Okay, first off hot lips is not referring to my kissing ability, just a funny story that happened to me today. Also, sorry for never finishing the story, I'll do that in the next couple days here.

So first the hitch hiking fiasco. On my way back to DBU after a wonderful spring break, I arrived at the intersection next to my school at around 2 hours after the sun had set. I sat behind this car who's blinker was on to turn left, but they weren't moving despite there being no oncoming traffic keeping me stuck behind them wanting to turn right on this little two lane road. Suddenly, this hand pops out of their window and waves me past them indicating something is amiss. Being the good ol' Texan boy I am, I pull up next to them and roll down the window to inquire if they need a hand.
Now, as I've mentioned I'm returning from spring break and the car is filled to the gills with my stuff PLUS a very nice couch in the bed of the truck that I had purchased from Craig's list for $25. The guy in the call asks if I can drive him down to a gas station. I have no problem with this and agree expecting one person to jump in and have me drive them to the closest gas station. Instead, however, two guys hope out and climb into the truck. These two guys were, in a word, gangsters. They explained that they were headed to a show to perform in a contest as rappers. I had picked up a couple of rapper gangsters. No worries, I'll drive them down the nicely light highway, stop at a well attended gas station, and return them to their vehicle.
Such was not to be the case. They ask me to go down this road that might best be described as desolate. After a minute or two I stumble across their two gangster rapper buddies who hope into the bed of the pickup with the couch. It gets better. The road hits a detour and I go from desolate to beyond desolate as I enter dirty Dallas. I finally arrive at a gas station, let them get some gas, and hop on the highway rather than drive back down nowheresville. Some good came from this situation that could have been extremely bad, however, I did share the gospel with them a little. They politely listened and promptly dismissed it, but at least they got to hear it.

They say that pride comes before fall, but no one ever mentions that pride comes also before hot lips. After my Chinese class today, a friend of mine stops me on my way into the dorm and claims to have a challenge for me. He tells me that in the take out box in his hands are several pieces of chicken that are incredibly hot. He warns me not to get too close to the box as he opens it least the smell makes my eyes water. Well, with such a challenge I reached in the box without hesitation the moment it was wide enough to get my hand in and took a big old bite from a piece of chicken! I told him it wasn't too bad as I took another bite. His friend stood awed by my tongue of steel and told me that he found it so spicy that he hadn't been able to take a full bite and his voice had been cracking ever since. I laughed and proudly declared I was from San Antonio and such a piece of chicken was merely slightly spicy.
Meanwhile, in my mind the words "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! STOP TALKING AND LET ME PUT OUT THE FIRE THAT IS NOW MY MOUTH!" were racing through my mind. But upon hearing such praise from this guy I never met I just finished off my chicken wing with a final bite and proudly deposited the remains in the closest garbage can. I calmly walked to my dorm room and ripped the door off my fridge as I scrambled for water. Unfortunately, the water had frozen in the back of my fridge and I grabbed a slim fast praying that the milk like properties it contained would sooth the fire and brimstone off my tongue. It did nothing to assuage my torment. Yes, TORMENT. I have never felt such burning agony in my mouth before. Not even when I had that bad habanero pepper. Frantically I scoured my roommates desk looking for the loaf of bread he had pilfered from the cafeteria. At LAST I found the bread and with a single slice erased all suffering from my lips and mouth. Pride surely comes before hot lips.

Finally, and of most notable interest. I have entered into an arrangement to raise money for a friend's missionary trip this summer. The deal is for each week I stay a certain way people promise to pay a certain amount of money. So, I chose to shave my head. And each week I keep it shaved hopefully people will pledge to support me. Here's some before and after shots.

A full head of hair

Buzz Cut!

A close shave!

The final product!



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Saturday, March 8, 2008

A quick break from the blog

Hey guys just taking a quick break to tell you about www.Memorysuppliers.com I just bought some memory for my mom's laptop and they sent me an e-mail saying I'd get 15 bucks back if I put a link to their website on my blog. Um... awesome? So in all seriousness, if you need some memory sometime soon, they're worth a look. Modest selection, free shipping, pretty cool.

www.Memorysuppliers.com
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Story part 3

If you notice a change in the quality of this part of the story, it's because I've reached the point where I really want to skip a head to the climax but am having to force myself to tell the story up to that point :p


I stepped out onto the harsh, unforgiving area surrounding the mountain and immediately felt the unforgiving wind attack. Relentlessly, the wind tore at my skin and bit at my eyes. Raising my arms to shield my face, I approached the mountain and began to search for a path over it. Its jagged terrain seemed equally inhospitable no matter where I looked. The mountain slopes seemed to have been forcefully discharged from the Earth at a daunting angle as if it had been rejected by the ground that once harbored it. Though a part of me desired to find a less severe path, the longer I spent on the scorched ground, the less my makeshift shoes protected me from the severe heat. Already I had to constantly swap my weight from foot to foot to keep either from burning.

Driven only by my determination to obey the lamb, I stepped onto the mountain, grasped a rough outcropping and began to scale what seemed to be as good as a place as any. My efforts were quickly rewarded as I climbed above the wisps of dust and left the heat of that unforgiving ground behind. My victory was short lived, however, as the intensity of the wind rapidly increased. Each inch I climbed was a painful battle that taxed my weary muscles against the downward gusts that threatened to tear me away from the mountainside and fling me into the air.
Slowly, painfully, I dragged myself up the mountainside. After what seemed to be an eternity, I found myself past the extreme slope at the base of the mountain and before a great, winding path as unwelcoming and devoid of life as the base of the mountain. I found a spot relatively free of wind and lay gasping for breath and assuaging my weary muscles.

Having regained some strength, I stood and peered over the wall I had just scaled expecting to find a great distance between myself and the ground below. To my dismay, I found that I had only come 10 yards at most from the mountain base. Dumbfounded, I began to struggle along the craggy path before me as I silently wept.
Each step I took along the path was fraught with pain and danger as my foot slid across the uneven ground. The shoes that had protected me against the heat now threatened to end my life as they leaked what little water they still contained. Though I tried to step carefully, the ground seemed to be ever changing. What I thought was flat ground actually tilted to the side. What I thought was slanted was actually a jagged point that nipped at the soles of my feet. Each stumbled threatened to send me tumbling all the way to the base of the mountain. No matter how I stepped, my feet would either find a sharp point or slide into a pinching outcropping.

As I stubbornly pressed on, I finally began to grown thirsty and hungry. I searched for some gathering of water that could have pooled from some previous rain, but despite the dark clouds that loomed above, I felt that the mountain had never been touched by the gentle kiss of rain. I wearily plodded onward hopping that the end of this mountain would reveal an area like the field I had left. It was then that I became keenly aware of time’s relentless march. Where before I was certain that many days had passed while I wondered in that beautiful field without ever growing tired, I now needed frequently increasing breaks.

Abruptly, I found myself at the precipice of an intimidating cliff. Gazing out, I saw an endless, flat expanse. Like the mountain, the expanse was devoid of life. Long dead trees were speckled amidst a sea of blood red sand. At once, I felt both a surge of hope at finding such plentiful wood to burn and a sinking despair that I could find no way down this cliff nor a way back up burdened with wood.

For a moment, it seemed as if the wind’s relentless torrent against my skin abated and instead wisped around me gently as if trying to caress my face or wipe the sweat from my brow. In that moment, the wind seemed to carry a fragrance that made my heart leap. I felt as if I should know this smell, like the scent of a grandfather or grandmother, but the moment was fleeting and left me feeling bitter and abandoned.
Resolved to build a fire, I began to descend the wall of the cliff. Each handhold tore and pinched at my skin, bit and gnawed at my toes, jarred my knees and scraped my face. I had hardly begun my descent when a gust of wind lifted me up and flung me into the air.

Time held its breath for me as for one perilous moment gravity failed to assert its hold over me. Then slowly, like many tiny hands reaching up and grasping at my clothes, I began to fall. Quicker, faster the ground rushed up at me. In vain, I grasped for the wall, but no matter how I moved, it remained just beyond my grasp. With one final desperate lunge, I reached for the wall. Despite all odds, my hand managed to find a hold and my body slammed into cliff face with stunning speed that caused my head to strike a rock jutting out from the wall. The world spun as I hopelessly struggled to regain my senses.

I managed to clear my head just in time to realize that when struck my head, I released my grip and was presently falling head first toward the sandy expanse. Before I had time to try anything, I hit the ground, and the world exploded into stars, then immediately sunk into a black, soundless darkness.
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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Story part 2

Build a great fire.

There was neither doubt nor hesitation in my mind that I should obey the lamb. I had chosen to follow to follow it already obedience to its undeniable authority seemed to be a given. I left immediately to gather the wood to build this great fire and presently found myself before a great, jagged mountain range. This range encompassed the field I had been in and created an instantaneous division between the meadow I had been in and the rest of the world.

Indeed, even the atmosphere had a dramatic change. The sun that had been so gently warming me had presently vanished behind a great furry of black clouds. Every so often, a deep rumbling of thunder would reverberate through the irregular crags of the mountainside. As each boom of thunder rolled across the mountain, small rocks rained from above as if the lifeless, rocky mass was so brittle it was threatening to collapse in on itself.

There was no gentle transition from the vitality of the field to the inertness of the mountains. The life that had flourished everywhere the eye could see in the meadow immediately stopped 50 feet from the base of the mountain range. In the place of rich, soft soil of the field, the ground surrounding the mountain was rough, and cracked as if beaten down by countless years of brutal sunlight.

The mountains loomed before me so fearfully, so majestically terrifying that I first recoiled in horror at the thought of traversing this mountain. It was only with the thought of that mysterious lamb that I was able to draw forth the courage to and step out onto that hostile ground and approach the mountain.

At once, I became aware of the fact that I had no shoes, nor any form of foot protection. In fact, my entire attire seemed tailored only for the perfect environment of the meadow. A white, simple shirt and matching loose pants rippled pleasantly in the wind of the meadow, but in domain of the mountain, it offered as much protection as my bare skin. The wind furiously charged down the side of the mountain and spun away in tiny circular torrents as the impacted the ground. Each gust brought with it new pinpricks of countless dust particles the wind tore from the ground and chafed across my skin.

The ground sizzled from the moisture of my skin and scalded the sole of my foot the moment I took a hesitating step onto its unwelcoming surface. Though I wanted to surrender and abandon the instruction of the lamb, I found myself unable to accept the thought of disappointing it. For some time I walked up and down the mountain range searching for some area that was less harsh than the rest, but no matter how far I went, the schism between the mountain and the meadow remained resolute.

As I stubbornly plodded along determined to find a way across the mountain, my foot brushed past an oddly soft and large leaf. As my foot touched it, it released a soothing aloe that eased away the pain in my feet and cooled the burns of my sole. Stooping, I inspected the plant and found that each leaf was roughly the size of my foot and was impossible to rip save tearing the leaf from the steam of the plant. Moreover, the steam was wrapped in a fine, thin vine-like string that coiled its way up and down the steam of the plant.

Taking off a single leaf, I placed it on dead ground of the mountain and firmly pressed my foot against it. Though it sizzled loudly, the heat was diminished to a tolerable, if not slightly uncomfortable, level. At once, I took several leaves and with the string-like vine fashioned a crude pair of shoes for myself. As I finished and stood proudly with my hand made shoes, I thought for a moment the wind held in it the gentle fragrance of the lamb. I briefly considered looking around for the lamb to ask if it knew where I could get some proper shoes, but I felt as if time was pressing and choose to continue on instead.


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Saturday, March 1, 2008

Story part 1

Here's the first part of a short story I plan to submit to DBU's writing contest thing. It's based on a dream I had a while ago and I had written (and posted) just a telling of my dream on my xanga site. I had wanted to turn it into a short story, but I never really did, I think I may have done a quick, rough version, but I decided this time to flesh it out and tell it the way I wanted to. I think an drawn version of this story would be really cool. Let me know what you think of this first part.



It was silent. No, it was more than that. It was mysteriously serene. If forced to describe it, I would call it the feeling one has in the moments before their parachute opens after jumping out of a plane. The air rushing past them, the profound silence that encompasses them as the plane roars out of sight, the wondering, “Will my chute open this time?” Time holds and in that moment there is an acceptance of what might happen and the adrenaline stops pumping and there is a smile. But in the next moment, the feeling is lost as the parachute bursts from its package and the wind bellows it into a proper shape.

This serenity, so mysterious, so profound, suddenly flooded my being where before there had been nothing. I knew before I opened my eyes that I lay in some kind of field, devoid of all animal life. The only thing that seemed to exist was the sound of a perfect breeze rustling through tall grass. The sun bathed the area with a gentle warmth known only to lethargic cats sprawled out in front of a sunny window.

It seemed odd to me that I did not know where I had been just a moment before. I felt that I had just before been nowhere and had suddenly come to exist in this somewhere. That did not make much sense but I felt that where I had been before did not matter and the only true pressing question I had to face was whether to continue lying here or open my eyes and walk around.

My curiosity eventually won over the great peace I felt in lying there and with a large stretch I sat up and opened my eyes. Slowly, I became aware of field surrounding me, as if my senses were turning on in stages to prevent the pristine purity of the field from overwhelming me. Where before I was aware only of the tranquility of the wind and the warmth of the sun, I now took notice of the enormity of the field itself.

As I stood up and looked around, I realized that I had been lying on the top of a hill in the middle of the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Each blade of grass rose high and began to slightly bend under its increasing weight. The wind blew across the meadow as if it were a great conductor leading the grass in grand ballroom dance. As far as I could see, the meadow stretched on in gently rolling hills. Each hill was attired more majestically than any King or Queen could ever dream of achieving.

And the aroma! Gazing out on the flowered hills, my nose became aware that it should wake up and experience the divine aroma permeating it. Anywhere else, such a densely packed field of flowers would immediately overwhelm me and send me running for the nearest Air condition controlled environment. But here, in this impossibly serene field, I found only the comfort of the sun, the majesty of the dancing grass, the regality of the elegant hills, and the intoxicating fragrance of the flowers.

Dumbfounded, I stood there. Unsure of how I came to be here and if my presence somehow marred the perfection of this meadow. Slowly, as if waking from a stupor or some deep sleep, I decided to pick a direction and search for way to remove myself from this place. I walked for some time without the sun growing in intensity or diminishing in beauty. I traversed hill after hill before realizing that I had grown neither hungry nor thirsty nor even weary. I knew somewhere in my mind that I should be wondering about this, or perhaps concerned, but though I observed these facts, I did not seem to worry about why they existed.

Suddenly, I found myself in a part of the field that expanded in all directions as a great flat expanse. From the midst of this expanse, I saw a solitary lamb approach me. It seemed to be a young lamb, only a single year old. I was covered not with the great, woolly mess that plasters older sheep, but a soft, dazzling pure white coat. As It came directly before me, it seemed to be surrounded by a unique fragrance, almost as if it had been covered in costly perfume. Coming before me, the lamb stopped and looked at me.

Follow me.

The lamb had not spoken but in my heart the words resounded with power and dropped me to the ground. The little lamb lovingly nuzzled my neck and again those words rippled through me. Each word felt full of power and compassion, of authority and understanding. It was a command and a request, one I could accept or reject.

Follow me.

The lamb gazed at me and standing I followed it. It felt as if we had traversed a great distance without going anywhere at all and bringing me before an area where the grass was cut low it stopped and addressed me again.

Build a great fire.


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